There are no justified resentments
My sister had not spoken to my father in years. She blamed him as a sort of accomplice to her problems and was punishing him with her silence and her absence. I guess she was punishing herself as well. He never blamed her for what seemed to some an unjustified anger and resentment. He had very little to say about the situation; he only said, "She's had a hard life." We were all grateful for both their sakes when she decided to visit him, just before he died. Happy to see Carol smiling and happy that Dad recognized her; happy that it wasn't too late.
I've debated with my own children whether there is such a thing as a justified resentment. Maura says, "oh, but what if someone murdered a member of your family? That would be so evil. Resentment is justified then!" My feeling is that resentment would be a natural emotion in such a case, but must be purged. Otherwise, the crime is perpetuated. The constant reflection upon it keeps it alive, continues to give power to it; it becomes a poison to the soul. It can grow and multiply there, as a seed in new soil.
Forgiveness does not mean that there is no evil, or that one permits evil to exist. Rather, for me, it means acknowledging it and then releasing it, let it go, let it go. A kind of polishing of the mirror of the heart.....
Remember the Bowl of Light? Empty the bowl of the stones and allow the light room to shine. We don't need the stones...... (smile)
My sister had not spoken to my father in years. She blamed him as a sort of accomplice to her problems and was punishing him with her silence and her absence. I guess she was punishing herself as well. He never blamed her for what seemed to some an unjustified anger and resentment. He had very little to say about the situation; he only said, "She's had a hard life." We were all grateful for both their sakes when she decided to visit him, just before he died. Happy to see Carol smiling and happy that Dad recognized her; happy that it wasn't too late.
I've debated with my own children whether there is such a thing as a justified resentment. Maura says, "oh, but what if someone murdered a member of your family? That would be so evil. Resentment is justified then!" My feeling is that resentment would be a natural emotion in such a case, but must be purged. Otherwise, the crime is perpetuated. The constant reflection upon it keeps it alive, continues to give power to it; it becomes a poison to the soul. It can grow and multiply there, as a seed in new soil.
Forgiveness does not mean that there is no evil, or that one permits evil to exist. Rather, for me, it means acknowledging it and then releasing it, let it go, let it go. A kind of polishing of the mirror of the heart.....
Remember the Bowl of Light? Empty the bowl of the stones and allow the light room to shine. We don't need the stones...... (smile)
<< Home